Our righteousness is not something we manufacture...

Our righteousness is not something we manufacture.  It is something that is “put" inside us (it is imputed by the Holy Spirit) when we believe, and it is something that must be “released” outward and onward.  It is the Holy Spirit who works in and through us to do this.  He convicts us, teaches us, grows us.  Our job is to be sensitive to His guidance and continue to align our lives with God’s expectations and will. Righteousness is walking out what is already in us. Unrighteousness is walking out what is of the flesh, and not the Spirit.  When we choose to sin (which is often easier than choosing not to) we are quenching the work of the Spirit in us.  Continued “unright” living breeds an environment for enemy infiltration.  We must “intentionally” protect our mind, will, emotions, conscience (our soul—where our heart lies) from what is not “right” with the breastplate of what is.  We are “putting on” the “new self”—the self that is aligned with the Light of the World.  It should start to feel very comfortable on us.  Imputed righteousness is a once in a lifetime action happening at our profession of faith and belief in Jesus Christ as the Son of God.  Practical righteousness is a moment-by-moment, day-by-day choice and action.  It is our living out what’s in us.  God’s Holy Spirit takes the responsibility to renew us and work His righteousness through us.  Whew, that is so good!  He is renewing our minds, realigning our passions and attitudes, and giving us strength to live in a way that is pleasing to Him and a blessing to others.   Sally Abbott

Good Vibrations? Why not?

I like the “vibe” I get when I go into a Starbuck’s coffee shop, or when I listen to certain music. Or said another way, I like what I sense and experience about a Starbuck’s, and enjoy what I feel about that certain music. Like the Beach Boys sing in their 1960s hit, “Good Vibrations”, I pick up good vibrations.

We don’t just sense or feel places and people in our environment; we also “vibrate” our own feelings that others around us experience. And that “vibe” comes out of the beliefs we hold as truths.

If your spouse or children were to choose a ringtone that describes the “vibe” you emanate, what would it be?

Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV)

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Created For More – Consider the Emotions that you House

At a specific time in history, God purposefully used his mind, will and creative powers to fashion all of the intricate parts that make up your unique personality, hair color, ring finger size – everything. Psalm 139:14 tells us that His works are wonderful and that WE KNOW it full well.  Each of us has an innate understanding that we house something unique and special with potential to do great things.  We are made in the image of God and the distinctiveness in our makeup reflects His glory.

In the Garden of Eden, before sin entered into the heart of man, Adam and Eve lived harmoniously with God and each other.

But when sin entered into the heart of man, Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden of Eden, and congruence with God was interrupted. Man inherited a sinful nature within himself that causes him to wrestle between right and wrong, or good and evil.

Transformation of a man’s heart occurs when man is reconciled with God through Jesus Christ and confronts his sinful nature by yielding his will to the leadership of the Holy Spirit. 

Man was designed to live in harmony with God. But man’s sin has thrust him outside that harmony, into living with his own sinful nature, creating confusion about how to meet his own needs. This neediness causes man to act out in harmful ways, resulting in pain and heartache for self and others. If your heart could speak, would it reveal any pain or confusion about self, or the meaning of life?

Emotional wounds and the lies attached to those wounds can prevent a person from:

Knowing the true self because of a false self or false set of beliefs

Taking risks and growing to become all that Christ intends

Living in the moment and experiencing the wonder and joy of life

Making a difference and contributing to society and the kingdom of God

Life as God intends for His Creation

The Lord wants to kill the man of sin inside your heart. He wants to KILL sin just like a cancer patient wants to kill the cancer cells. Kill is a strong word that means to end life. We have to first become aware of the emotional cancer cells in our hearts and then be willing to do WIT, “whatever it takes” to kill them; it requires work to expose the wounds in our hearts (and the false messages attached to them) to enable our replacing the lies with God’s truth.

That work is a battle in your heart to kill sin, but until you can SEE it, you will not treat it. A person does not receive treatment for cancer if there is nothing to indicate its presence. But when the cancer manifests itself through symptoms, that person takes immediate action to establish a treatment plan.

Physical cancer is a menace that no one wants to face. The word “cancer” captures a person’s attention, and creates the willingness to do WIT, “whatever it takes” to get rid of it. Physical cancer is to the body as unhealed emotional wounds are to the heart: untreated emotional wounds lead to spiritual death just like untreated cancer causes physical death. A prudent person has regular checkups to make sure cancerous division and multiplication is not ravaging his/her body. God tells us to DAILY allow His Holy Spirit to inspect our hearts, to see if there is anything that is displeasing to Him, and to see if there is any lie in our heart caused by an emotional wound that is robbing us of His glory and truth.

However, people live for years with depression, unsatisfying relationships, internal pain and suffering, and will go to huge lengths to hide these symptoms either out of fear of being discovered as “less than or not enough”, or simply lack of knowledge about how to be set free from internal pain.

Where is emotional pain?

In your heart.

Where do we invite Christ to live?

In our hearts.

We are all in need of a Savior to love and redeem us.

Keeping emotional pain at bay is like trying to keep a beach ball submerged under water; it takes constant energy and will never succeed. But, when exposed - or brought into the light - that pain or darkness will lose its power.

So what is the solution?

Dr. Phil says you cannot change what you will not acknowledge.

Jesus Christ says to confess your sins so that you may be healed.

Honesty leads to getting well. It is that simple. Once you discover lies that have become your beliefs that keep you from living in freedom, you can identify your heart battle, and can work to replace those lies with God’s truth.

When false beliefs are keeping you from experiencing the joy of your salvation, you are being denied the glory for which you were created.

Traveling on the Road to Restoration

In Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life, he says, “we were created by God and for God and until you figure that out, life isn’t going to make sense.”

Our lives here on earth are about being restored to man’s original state of innocence and embracing our distinctiveness to bring glory to God.  We can certainly experience joy and happy times on earth, but God’s ultimate goal is to remake us into His image, allowing us to step into the glory for which we were created, to experience and have the influence He always intended.  Nothing can possibly be more satisfying than returning to who we were created to be, and living from that place in intimate relationship with the Lord.  As we confess Jesus Christ as Lord of our lives, our hearts become burdened for those who are lost without an eternal vision or purpose; part of our purpose is to show them God’s love and provision. 

There are two primary forces that inspire change in our lives:  pain and vision.  It is against our nature to experience pain (makes sense) and we will do whatever we can to find relief.  We also are motivated to change through vision, seeing something that appeals to us or gives our lives meaning, purpose or pleasure, and will move us to attain it.  These two phenomena are always active in our lives - responding to vision and managing pain.  Rick Warren explains it this way, “I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth.  I don’t believe that anymore.  Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it’s kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.  No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.  And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.”

Healthy individuals understand that life is a process of responding to challenges that will develop greater character, usually involving pain.  We are all familiar with the adage, “no pain, no gain.”  Another aspect of growth is dealing with negative emotions that have been repressed from the past.  Children are not responsible for, and do not know how to process pain from their childhood; many times this pain is contained in the body until maturity enables processing it.  Much like a cyst encapsulates foreign matter in the body, humans have tendencies to fragment and encapsulate emotions. Those protected emotions are submerged into the subconscious so they can continue with their lives (essentially, this is a survival technique).  It takes energy to keep past memories submerged and over time, this can cause a person to experience depression and other emotional health issues.

Denying that your heart has been wounded (and will continue to be wounded by imperfect people in an imperfect world) is like saying you are invincible. In fact, you have the same needs as anyone else and will suffer when your needs are overlooked, criticized, thwarted, etc.  Part of your responsibility as an adult is to learn what your needs are and take responsibility for getting them met.  A child does not have the sophistication to mentally articulate his or her needs or have the understanding or ability to meet them.  Even the best parents miss the mark in meeting all their child’s needs because we are all limited in this ability.

The Lord makes provision for the process of unraveling negative emotions; He exhorts us to allow the Holy Spirit to regularly search our heart and bring those bruised places into the light so they can be healed.  Our tendency is to deny that we have hurts in our hearts because we somehow surmise that admitting our pain and neediness makes us substandard or less than others who “seem to have it all together.”  Healthy individuals see the process of honestly assessing themselves as a slice of the pie chart that represents the complete self.  They don’t allow themselves to drown in self pity and morbid self absorption, but they do “deal with” the weak parts of themselves and the hurting parts, which pleases God and allows them to reach resolution. 

Is there a step you can take today that will move you towards resolution?

Pressure from Parents, When do you cross the line?

A true story. 

My husband and I inadvertently walked in on a telephone conversation at our daughter’s private school; it was between a teacher and a parent. The teacher indicated we should stay, but the part of the discussion we heard, and the expressions on her face led us to believe the subject was so unbelievable that we had to ask about it.

Hesitantly, (without revealing the identity of the caller) she confirmed our suspicions that a parent of a child entering Pre-Kindergarten was asking about the best extracurricular activities – to engage in now – to promote the child’s achieving the highest possible SAT scores.

We grimaced and none of us shared what we were really thinking.  It would have been disrespectful to the teacher and caller.

However, I thought it bizarre that a parent would be seeking opportunities for a pre-schooler that would ultimately result in the highest possible scores for college entrance exams. 

Was this the unspoken fantasy? 

My child will have

the best possible advantages at all times,

to receive the best instruction, coaching, tutoring,

whatever it takes to make the highest possible scores,

to gain entrance into the top universities,

where they will join the best sororities or fraternities,

to make the most important and influential friends,

which will help them land the best possible job positions,

to ensure that they receive the most superb opportunities,

to make the most money and receive the highest notorieties,

so they can live the best life possible with power, prestige and influence.

This perspective connotes that the outcome for the success of a child lies in the parent’s willingness and ability to push them to their highest potential, give them the best opportunities and ensure that they are surrounded by the right people that can make things happen for them.

Did this parent really feel the weight of responsibility to make those things happen for their Pre-K child? 

Did they not believe in a Sovereign God that specially and intricately knit their child together in their mother’s womb with distinct God-given gifts and abilities that were decided before conception? (Psalm 139)

Why were they electing to send their child to a Christian school if they did not trust God to open and close doors on behalf of the welfare of the child and guide and direct their lives? (Proverbs 3:4-5)

Was it to increase the opportunities for their child to receive love and nurture from teachers and staff that were gullible enough to embrace this notion?

Bryan Caplan says in his new book, Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think, “Parents take it upon themselves to constantly entertain and "enrich" their kids with a course-catalog of activities (Capoeira, violin, Mandarin lessons) in a desperate effort to give them ‘the best’ and set them on the path to a triumphant adulthood.”  Caplan sees the world differently and believes that parenting does not play such an important role in determining a child’s destiny in life, rather that genetics or nature trumps the efforts and influence of the parents.

Conversely, Amy Chua, author of the highly controversial book, The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom,  purports that tiger mother's cubs who are being parented “the Chinese way” with high demands to perform well are being raised to rule the world, while the offspring of "weak-willed," "indulgent" Westerners are growing up ill-equipped to compete in a fierce global marketplace.

We all want the best for our children and the bible tells us to train up a child in the way that they he should go and when they are old, they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).  We have a responsibility to dig and find the deeper meaning in that scripture and parent our children as the Holy Spirit parents us…..with love, grace and authority.  We want to be responsible in all things, but not miss blessing our children for their distinctiveness (for who they are and not what we can turn them into) that was ordained and created by God.  His works are marvelous and as parents we have the privilege of witnessing the handiwork of God by observing and experiencing the unique qualities that each of our children possess, that God intends to use for His good purposes.

Children are a blessing and gift from God.  Take advantage of and use the resources God has provided to give your child advantages, encourage and discipline them, but do not try to make them into something that was never intended.  Embrace God and who He created your children to be and become, and let them get a good taste of God’s love and acceptance from you.

Couple Goals - Making Your Time Together Count

Happy, healthy couples strengthen their marriage bond through the pursuit of shared goals and by encouraging and supporting one another in accomplishing those and their individual goals. 

Goals harness and order the energy required to follow the associated structured activities that will result in achieving those goals. Sharing a goal with your mate can be a wonderful way to connect and invest in personal and couple growth and avoid the boredom and monotony of aimless efforts that can often result in fussing and disagreements.

Why not set aside some time or better yet, plan a weekend away when you and your spouse can dream and discuss goals that you would like to pursue together and individually. 

“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”  Will Rogers.

1)    Be specific.  Instead of saying, “We will learn to play tennis, be specific and say: “We’ll spend 30 minutes a day hitting balls three times a week and take a tennis lesson on Sunday afternoons at the Tennis Club.” The goal now expresses not only a desire, but the means to accomplish it.

2)    Be realistic.  Consider your time and resources and set goals that you can accomplish and feel good about.  If you make them too easy, they will be meaningless and if you make them impossible to obtain, you will lose heart and become discouraged.  Strive to create positive versus negative energy!

3)    Include a way to measure your success.  A good goal will answer the questions of what, how, and when; it’s measurable.  Instead of saying, “We will learn new recipes and cook meals together, say:  we will research recipes online and find a mutually agreeable one, grocery shop together at Whole Foods and cook together on the first Saturday evening of each month.”

4)    Think short-term and long-term.  Short-term goals (cleaning one closet a week) allows us to experience success at smaller intervals while working toward long-term goals (de-cluttering an entire house.)

5)    Review periodically and be flexible.   Goals are the defined destination of a journey.  If you don’t know where you are going, guess what?  You are already there!  Remind yourself that life is a journey, and developing a passion for the process is the key to embracing and enjoying each day and learning to live in the moment.  Priorities arise that will take precedence over structure you have established to accomplish a goal, which may require taking a detour, adjusting expectations or putting a goal on hold for a while.  Utilize the power of prayer when setting daily priorities, which will result in PRAYORITIES, which will keep you in line with your dreams and the heart desires of God.

Got Happiness? (4)

Much research has been done to determine the causes of mental health issues such as depression, bi-polar disorder, mania, etc., but fewer studies have focused on what causes a person to be happy.  Henry Cloud authored The Laws of Happiness, which highlights the life principles of people who experience higher levels of well-being and happiness.  This article summarizes one law of happiness.

Happy people pursue goals.  Goals help order our time and energy, promote growth and the hope of things to come.  The way to accomplish a big goal is to break it down into little goals.  What small, specific and measurable thing or things do I need to accomplish today that will work toward my end desire?  Cloud encourages us to consider how we get to the end of a day able to know “today was a good day!” What needs to occur during the day to make that happen?

Getting in touch with our heart’s desires is key to setting goals.  Sometimes, like a child digging around in a toy box for a favorite toy, we have to rummage through our thoughts and life experiences to discover goals that when achieved will satisfy and fill our hearts with joy.